Knitting & Reading about Home Grown Boys

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IMG_9205I guess sometimes I take my self too seriously in the knitting department. I start most knitting projects with careful research on how the pattern is written. Is it written in a way that I will enjoy the process? Will I learn something new? What about the design? It’s not too trendy. I hope it will be something I’ll wear for years. And how about that yarn? Locally produced? Maybe it’s dyed in a one-of-a-kind artisanal way. Is it double plyed so it won’t pill up as easily? Yada yada yada.

And then my son brings me his favorite two neon-like yarns and pleads with me to knit him something. ‘You never knit me anything! Please knit something for me.’ That warms my heart, but wouldn’t you much rather have these beautifully naturally dyed colors for your hat? ‘Umm, no Mom!’

Now that the hat is finished, I’m so very glad he insisted on exactly what he wanted, because this was one of the funnest knitting projects I’ve done in a while. Look at those fun, bright colors. I have a bit of a sweater knitting addiction yet to knit a hat? Instant gratification, I was done in 24 hours! Amazing. And he loves it, he’s worn it for three days straight although he’s made me promise to add a pom-pom to the top. (ravelry notes here)

These days, that boy is constantly wanting to go down to this creek. It filled with water after our early December rains and now it’s teaming with life. Frogs galore, minnows and water bugs are some of the treasures he finds. If left to his own devices he’d spend all day long, every day down there. And I do try and let him. But there are two things that tend to hold me back. One is that he’s bound to come home drenched and muddy. The second thing is fear. I can mostly see him down there from the house or yard. But all those fearful parent things that run through our heads hold me back from letting him play free of supervision. Like what if he slips and hits his head on a rock? What if a rattlesnake (which no one has ever seen around here) sneaks out and bites him. What if a thirsty mountain lion makes it’s way past the vineyard fences to get a drink? What if, what if, what if…. Silly thoughts I know.

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What is encouraging me to let him play more down there is the book I’m reading Home Grown: Adventures in Parenting off the Beaten Path, Unschooling, and Reconnecting with the Natural World. What a great book! After reading The Creative Habit, Twyla Tharpe suggested you really put books to use, underline them, dog-ear them, write notes in the margins. Use up your books. And this is the first book since that I’ve been doing that. I have pages folded down and I have underlines and stars all over this book. Ben Hewitt (you can check out his blog) tells, in short chapters, the story of how he and his wife Peggy have chosen to raise their two boys on a farm in Vermont. What I enjoy about his writing style, besides his mastery of putting beautiful words together, is his non-judgemental attitude about how they are living their lives. I’ve read a bookshelf full of tales about living an ‘alternative’ lifestyle and many discount a mainstream life in a pretty judgement way. I don’t care much for those books. We are all trying our best. What I enjoy about Ben’s view is that I come away encouraged to live life and raise my children the way I think they should be raised. It’s a really good book and I think you should give it a read.

One of my underlined passages about Ben’s hope for his sons:

Of all the things I want for them, connection to place and a sense of knowing how they fit into this world usurps all others. I want this for them more than happiness, because I think mere happiness is a shallow elucidation of the human experience, and by itself is not a particularly sturdy emotional foundation upon which to build a fulfilling life. I want this for them more than success, at least insofar as our culture has come to define success as being a product of money and power and recognition. I want this for them more than physical vitality, because I believe that good health–and not just health of body, but also of emotion and spirit–is only possible when one feels connected to and secure in their place.

(also read Tiny Homes: Simple Shelter a friend lent to me…super inspiring as well!)

(linking up with Frontier Dreams & Small Thing’s Yarn Along)

Comments

  1. Candice says

    We read Tiny Homes, Simple Shelter! There are gorgeous photographs but in case anyone would like to know there are some pages with photographs taken of adult nudity during the “free love/hippie” time.

  2. says

    I can’t believe you made this in 24 hours!!! It’s fabulous although I also think it needs a pompom.

    I also know what you mean about letting them go out and be on their own while wanting to make sure they stay safe. We were always outdoors, in and out of creeks, biking from Boyes Hot Springs to downtown, hiking and horseback riding through the mountains–all without parent supervision. But with Josh, I’m just now pushing him to go outside and explore the area around us. The difference in our situation is when I was a kid there were lots of kids around and now it’s Josh and a friend or two when it can be set up. There aren’t a bunch of kids all learning to test their boundaries.

    Ugh. This parenting thing is tricky! Thanks for always sharing your experiences. I love reading what’s going on in your life.

    • says

      You’re right Lori, this parenting thing is tricky! There are a couple other kids in our neighborhood, however I think all of us parents feel that ‘fear’ of letting them go too far. So even if we let them run in a pack, I don’t think any of us would feel too comfortable letting them get too far. Yes, tricky stuff!

  3. Jody says

    Your son has got some style! Love it!

    Do you remember the days of running wild? We were kicked out after breakfast, came home for lunch, kicked out until dinner, kicked out after dinner (especially in summer). After that the rule was: be in before the street light comes on; it was great fun when the street light wasn’t working! We rode our bikes for miles, we went to the beach, to the lake, dug in the dunes. We lived in the middle of a pretty big city, but our neighborhood was wonderfully sequestered; it felt like we lived in the middle of nowhere. I don’t recall anyone actually supervising us. Maybe my parents didn’t care if I got injured or worse… Of course they did! I believe there were eyes everywhere! It was a time when neighbors were neighbors and all seemed like family.

    Love the blog, Kendra!

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